Does the ache inside ever get easier?
Does the ache ever go away?
My life just seems to get messier,
To God I constantly pray.

The ache is still so fresh,
My thoughts have just changed,
Once I thought I was blessed,
Made to feel so ashamed.

My baby son I wasn’t to have,
A sweet innocent little child,
My ache was new my life a farce,
No wonder I went a bit wild.

The years flew by and I hid my ache,
Smiling on the outside hurting inside,
Getting married wanting my life to shape,
No more babies for me I cried.

We are growing old and happy together,
Accepting that children aren’t in our lives,
Would having children made our lives better,
We don’t know but are happy to be alive.

My son and I are reunited together,
But the ache is still there for me to feel,
I love him even more than ever,
My ache will always be there to feel.

Philippa Hope-Hornsey


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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