1st July 2005
Barry is going home tomorrow which is a bit of a relief. He’s nice and it’s been a good week on the whole but I am looking forward to have some time to myself. Went to the library in Middlesbrough today and was able to get some more info for the family tree. Even better that I can pass the information onto Anthony for a change instead of the other way round.
Rick should have been going away for the weekend with the mens’ group from the church but he is going tomorrow morning instead after dropping Barry off at the station. I get 30 hours peace and quiet which sounds awful but it isn’t meant to be. The thought of having time to myself is great as I can get on with doing what I want for a change. At least I have the dogs for company and the cat of course.
Anthony cheered me up by letting me know he has remembered about the 8th August being the day I found/emailed him. I now feel much better about getting through his birthday on the 3rd August and the 8th. Must remember to get him a card and present in the next week or so and get it sent off in plenty of time. I still have my moments but this week Anthony has chatted on messenger and we spoke to each other on Wednesday night as well. He still isn’t sure what’s happening about his course yet or what’s happening next year. The latest plan is to come to England in July 2006 then go traveling.
*Rang the hospital on Monday and the appointment is coincidently the 8th August. It would be nice to think it is a good omen but I’m not superstitious and I’m certainly not holding my breath that we will get good news. I have resigned myself to the situation so I can’t go any lower emotionally so the only way is up even if it is moving on beyond wanting children.