11th July 2005
Short minor vent which will start with I’m fed of doing long journal entries that get shorter and shorter because I keep getting up the page claiming I’m not logged in when I am so lose everything I’ve typed …. AAARGH!!!!I am getting sooooo stressed out about hitting my head up against the metaphorical brick wall off getting a copy of the relinquishment paper. One court has replied to me stating I can’t have this disclosed to me under the Adoption Law 1976 but I know the law changed in 2001. I know I’m being fobbed off because the court system is frightened that I may find out that Anthony’s adoption wasn’t finalized and I could sue. At the end of the day I just want to see this paper as it is detrimental to my mental health too. Two suggestions made have been to write to my local MP and to contact the human rights court so I am seriously thinking about doing this. The CAB manager is also looking into this matter as he seems to think I need to have a solicitor to deal with the court that holds the paper.
Rick is driving me crazy about his finger and the pain he is in but he won’t see a doctor or ring the fracture clinic. He’s constantly losing his temper at the slightest thing and moaning about the length of time I’m on the phone to Anthony. Rick is the one running up a high phone bill and it annoys me as I’ve only rung Anthony twice since he’s been in Toronto. He is driving me mad the way he claims to be so well adjusted about our reunion but he isn’t really. I try not to talk about Anthony too much at the moment as Rick thinks it’s so funny to keep running Anthony down yet I’m sure at times Rick is jealous of him.
The other thing infuriating me is that Rick thinks it’s funny to inflict pain on my right wrist and fingers just because he is in pain. I fractured my wrist 17 years ago and have arthritis in it yet Rick doesn’t seem to understand how painful it is when he puts pressure on it. The other day it hurt so much when Rick put pressure on my wrist that I lashed out without thinking and I was in tears. Only then did he seem to realise that he had gone too far.