7th September 2005

The past few days have been really rough as my sleep pattern is getting worse and last night I didn’t much sleep at all. Yesterday I did get to see a doctor who is actually new in the group practise but he was really nice. He listened to everything I had and asked all the right questions so it was a relief to get things out in the open. The doctor is going to arrange counselling for me again but it is going to take time to do so. He’s prescribed me anti-depressants which I’m not overly happy about but we’ve agreed on a compromise that I shall take them for 6 months rather than at least a year like he wanted and just assess it from there. I really don’t want to be dependent on anti-depressants and just want some form of help to sleep at night. The other down side to anti-depressants is that it’s going to take several weeks before they kick in so I’m going to have to suffer from lack of sleep for a while longer.

What didn’t help last night was that we went round to see Janice and John for a little while and they insisted that we went out for a meal with them. They were going anyway but I didn’t want to go as I am so tired and getting very irritable because I can’t sleep so my other symptons are getting worse and it’s a vicious circle. Anyway I gave in and it wouldn’t have been a late night except we went back to their home for what should have been a little while afterwards. They are having problems with their computer again so it was gone midnight by the time we got home. That made matters even worse as it was about 1 am by the time I got to bed so I was exhausted and overtired. I didn’t get up till about 8.25 am but I only slept for about 4 hours, the rest of the time I was just lying there making a fuss of my cat on and off.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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