Memories

MemoriesOnce a young woman without a care,
Working by day and at night having fun,
Plenty of friends to share my life with,
Then came a boyfriend to steal my heart.

Life was too short to worry about tomorrow,
I was happy and falling in love with my man,
Having fun and going out such good times,
We got engaged little did I know he’d change.

I was so happy I didn’t see him change,
Slowly the possessiveness and jealousy set in,
Still loved him though and carried on,
I was like a trapped bird wanting to fly.

I wanted to please him so settled down,
Until one day I wanted to see my friends,
My man I wanted but wanted my life too,
We compromised and I thought we’d get closer.

One day it got so bad that we split,
I was broken hearted but knew it was best,
Little did I know how bad the future would get,
How so much time would be wasted for me.

Not much time later I knew I was pregnant,
No baby for me to keep my parents decided,
My baby was born no support given to me,
One tiny life that needed his first mother.

I battled the decision but lies won he went,
My heart was broken for the child I wanted,
Never mentioned as if he had never existed,
My life was to go on like nothing happened.

The years went by I went a bit wild,
Living my life as if without a care,
Inside I was in turmoil outside happy,
The pain never went but life carried on.

Men came into my life but I couldn’t trust,
I became hard on the outside not needing a soul,
Inside I was a sad young woman crying,
Until the day I tried to trust another young man.

We got married the years haven’t been easy,
I just wanted to be loved and to be needed,
Has it been worth it I wondered often,
I haven’t been alone and have been needed.

Last year I found my boy to my shock,
Scared but needed to know he was okay,
To discover he had already found my family,
Why couldn’t they be honest with us both.

I love my son very much no matter what,
He is part of my life like my husband,
My future I need to plan with care,
How better can my life be with my two men.

Philippa Hope-Hornsey
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About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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