Time flying by ….

30th October 2007

Time is flying by and I can hardly believe Anthony has been living with us for over ten months now.  It has had its ups and downs but that was to be expected though I don’t regret him moving in despite it being tough at times

*We have got to know each other better
*We work well together

*We have so much in common
*Having those “firsts” together – Christmas, Mother’s Day, his birthday, my birthday is next week so we get to share that
*Spontaneous hugs
*Him just being here

The negatives I can live with as they are more down to irritating habits and having to get used to him being around.

I have found though that when I get depressed it is very hard to live with and hard to drag myself out of it.  I hate having those triggering moments too so I am having to learn to deal with them without letting Anthony know what’s going on in my head.  I don’t want him to see me unhappy or upset because it’s not his fault, it’s something I have to deal with and move on from.  These emotions are important and I need to deal with them for my own sanity but at least I can say I am a survivor.

*I found it hard to keep up a blog from April 2006 which was the point I had finished transferring my original journal.  A year later I started putting up poetry and the book I was writing – Dear Son.  It was easy to just post about different things going on in daily life than to keep going over old ground of how I was feeling.  I needed to move forward from that as the time was right.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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