30th October 2007
Time is flying by and I can hardly believe Anthony has been living with us for over ten months now. It has had its ups and downs but that was to be expected though I don’t regret him moving in despite it being tough at times
*We have got to know each other better
*We work well together
*We have so much in common
*Having those “firsts” together – Christmas, Mother’s Day, his birthday, my birthday is next week so we get to share that
*Him just being here
The negatives I can live with as they are more down to irritating habits and having to get used to him being around.
I have found though that when I get depressed it is very hard to live with and hard to drag myself out of it. I hate having those triggering moments too so I am having to learn to deal with them without letting Anthony know what’s going on in my head. I don’t want him to see me unhappy or upset because it’s not his fault, it’s something I have to deal with and move on from. These emotions are important and I need to deal with them for my own sanity but at least I can say I am a survivor.
*I found it hard to keep up a blog from April 2006 which was the point I had finished transferring my original journal. A year later I started putting up poetry and the book I was writing – Dear Son. It was easy to just post about different things going on in daily life than to keep going over old ground of how I was feeling. I needed to move forward from that as the time was right.