8th August 2005
Had a completely wasted journey to the hospital today and wish I could do as the Greeks do and smash a few plates. In my case though it would be a great way to deal with my anger but I shall rise above it. Nothing has been done about approaching the PCT to have our case reviewed so it was pointless keeping the appointment. The consultant was really ‘off’ with us and made me feel like we were wasting his time being there. It’s not our fault and I did ring up ages ago to see if there was any point going today but was assured by HIS secretary it was worth it. Tomorrow we will be handing in a letter of complaint about the way we have been treated to make it formal. I just feel like our one chance of possibly having a child has slipped from our grasp. If we had treatment and it didn’t work I could have dealt with it a bit easier as I had prepared myself for that and at least we could have said we tried everything. Now I have to learn to cope with knowing that the one method that may have got me pregnant is out of my grasp. It is only my faith, knowing Rick is suffering as well and having some good friends that is stopping me from falling apart completely. My anger will dispel soon.