29th July 2005
Tuesday evening Rick and I went to the alpha course in the evening and we had a good evening. Before the meeting started Rita and I were talking about Anthony, his adoption and about our reunion. I hadn’t been too sure how Rita thought about it but she thinks it great how things have turned out and is disgusted about the way my parents have treated me. We all had a good discussion after the video as we were discussing our own experiences with such things as palm reading, horoscopes, mediums and so on before giving our lives to God.
Wednesday flew by but I had a quiet evening as usual as Rick was at the church. Yesterday I received a lovely card from Anne along with more photos of herself, her ‘two little angels’ and a lovely book. It is The Blue Day Book A Lesson in Cheering Yourself Up by Bradley Trevor Greive …. the photos are beautiful and the comments underneath are very relevant. I felt quite emotional in a nice way and it is good that I am facing these now. 23 years is a long time to go suppressing emotions so it is a good thing I can now express openly being happy, sad, angry, tearful, being content with my life. Anne helps me more than she realizes and will let her know.
Today Anne forwarded an email she received from someone who responded to her request for mothers to share as she wants to write a book about grief. This person is so full of anger and really needs to work through it so I don’t mind responding as I understand where she is coming from. Anne’s situation was different when placing her daughters as she thought long and hard about this before doing so. I respect her decision for what she did as she did for all the right reasons even though it’s not an easy decision for anyone.
24th July 2005
Not a good enough mother..... 