24th August 2005
l like I’m in some sort of limbo now as for the first time in a year I haven’t got a lot on my plate. The only outstanding thing I’ve got to sort out, if I ever do, is to get a copy of the relinquishment but even that doesn’t seem so important anymore as it won’t change the past. I will still probably pursue that though as it will tie up the last loose end. My reunion is fine at the moment, what plans I may have had with regards to having children seem to be permanently shelved now and for once I don’t have any ‘battles’ to fight. It feels like I’ve got one big void in front of me and I don’t know how to fill it. It’s almost a scary thought to be drifting from one day to the next without anything to look forward to. I can’t really be bothered with the complaint we’ve put into the hospital as that’s not ultimately going to change the situation either. The only reason why I went ahead with it was to make a point but I don’t expect anything to come off it nor is going to change anything. Mr M had already decided he wasn’t going to help us or to refer our case to the PCT but he didn’t have the courage to be honest about it. I could have done without the lies and excuses but the damage has been done now. I can’t see our case being referred now as we have dared to put a complaint in.