abortion v adoption v parenting

27th August 2010

Time has flown by quickly as I got engrossed with going through questions I have answered on Y!A.  I have lost count of the abortion versus adoption ones I answered.  These types of questions certainly bring out strong views.  It saddens me that people will decide one or the other is better without even giving the third option of parenting any thought.  One of my standard answers is to mention that my sister wanted to parent when she was pregnant at 15 but was pressured to abort by my parents.  This was despite her boyfriend being prepared to support her and the baby.  I was pregnant at 19 and working so was in a position that I could have afforded to raise my child without help from benefits.  Abortion wasn’t an option as I wanted to raise him and adoption never crossed my mind.  It’s a broader picture than deciding that one or the other option is better.

Other questions that crop up regularly are about private adoption.   Even people in the UK have asked about that yet private adoption is illegal in the UK.  The closest to that is private fostering but if the child is then adopted a social worker still needs to be involved to make it legal.  Reunion questions seem to be quite popular ones as well although I haven’t noticed so many of those recently.  I answer those ones as my reunion was as straight forward as others.

One thing I have noticed is that attitudes in general don’t change on the adoption section of Y!A.  People seem to come and go but there are still a number of regulars there.  I respect most of the regulars there regardless of whether I agree with their answers or not.  We all tend to be consistent with our answers and I am interested in reading other points of views.  There will always be the ones who are nasty and attacking which is all part of being part of adoption world.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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