5th September 2010
It has been one of those weekends that has dragged. Both of us are feeling tired despite getting enough sleep. I have been in quite a bit of pain with my fingers and right hip the last few days. It gets me down at times and I have been getting very irritable because of it. I wish I could take pain killers but none of the ones I can pick up from chemists of supermarkets have any effect. The doctor did prescribe me some but I could only take them for a week as long term they would have interfered with my other medication. Losing weight would help but I struggle to keep at the weight I am already and exercise just makes the pain worse so it’s a vicious circle.
At times it feels like life is back to pre reunion days where we lead a quiet life and that we’ve been through has just been a bad dream. It wasn’t all bad and I’m glad I found Anthony. It’s been good getting to know him but these days all I seem to remember are the bad and sad times. The happier times are harder to remember know. I can’t shut the memories out completely as I am a different person to six years ago. Of course there are the people I have got to know online as well who have been absolute life savers. These days I don’t have much contact with them but keep track of them when I get the chance on Facebook and if they post on a forum we’re all members off. It’s good that we are all getting on with our lives although I do miss a bit the times when we were all posting regularly. I am just thankful for what I do have and that I can get on with my life.