5th September 2010

It has been one of those weekends that has dragged.  Both of us are feeling tired despite getting enough sleep.  I have been in quite a bit of pain with my fingers and right hip the last few days.  It gets me down at times and I have been getting very irritable because of it.  I wish I could take pain killers but none of the ones I can pick up from chemists of supermarkets have any effect.  The doctor did prescribe me some but I could only take them for a week as long term they would have interfered with my other medication.  Losing weight would help but I struggle to keep at the weight I am already and exercise just makes the pain worse so it’s a vicious circle.

At times it feels like life is back to pre reunion days where we lead a quiet life and that we’ve been through has just been a bad dream.  It wasn’t all bad and I’m glad I found Anthony.  It’s been good getting to know him but these days all I seem to remember are the bad and sad times.  The happier times are harder to remember know.  I can’t shut the memories out completely as I am a different person to six years ago.  Of course there are the people I have got to know online as well who have been absolute life savers.  These days I don’t have much contact with them but keep track of them when I get the chance on Facebook and if they post on a forum we’re all members off.  It’s good that we are all getting on with our lives although I do miss a bit the times when we were all posting regularly.  I am just thankful for what I do have and that I can get on with my life.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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