16th March 2011
Yesterday I finally received a letter from my dad in response to my last letter a month ago when I sent my parents a wedding anniversary card. I had wanted to know if there was glaucoma in the family which there isn’t fortunately.
My mum has been in hospital for the past seven weeks and nobody thought to let me know. She has been going to a foot clinic for years due to diabetes. The doctor was concerned so she went into hospital and was told that she had gangrene. A toe was amputated but there were still problems and there were real concerns that my mum’s legs would be amputated. Fortunately she is on the mend now so that won’t happen. The downside is when it is decided my mum is fit enough to leave hospital she will have to go into rehab due to being in bed for so long. Before she went into hospital a carer was going in each day to help her wash and get dressed. The way my dad is talking is that is little hope of my mum going home.
I am upset even though I haven’t had a good relationship with my mum for many years. She is still my mum and I do love her. It frustrates the heck out my family that they don’t tell me any news. My mum broke her leg last year and I only found that out yesterday because I rang my dad. Two of my nieces have got married but I haven’t been told officially and found out through Facebook. I have my suspicions that one of them has also had a baby yet I haven’t been told even though I asked after my sister and family.
My head is still all over the place and have been tearful at times. What I would give to have a normal family who would tell me what’s going on in their lives. Sadly I will always be the black sheep of the family as I gave up trying to prove I wasn’t years ago. At times like this it reminds me why I distanced myself. I can’t shut of my feelings though and I still care about my family.