1st May 2011
Today has been one of those ‘I am happy to be alive’ days. I have plenty to be thankful for and my dad seemed more cheerful when I rang him. It’s going to take time for him adjusting to life without my mum but at least he has family close by. Dad told me that K is expecting a baby in October so something to look forward to and will be his second great grandchild. I may not get on with my sister but I am happy for her as I know she adores her first grandchild. Talking my dad today was almost like going back in time how we used to talk to each other. It’s good to be able to talk ease again and well worth the perseverance.
Today has just reinforced the inner peace I feel now. I appreciate how much I have to look forward to with the added bonus of good neighbours and loving the village I live in.
My one bit of sadness is that Anthony still doesn’t want contact. I have only made two attempts at contact but on both occasions I didn’t expect to hear back from him. The first was an email to let him know my mother had died. The second a letter asking him to contact my sister as he hadn’t responded to a text she had sent. I was miffed as it is one thing to ignore me but another to ignore my sister particularly when she doesn’t deserve it. No matter whether my sister and I have been on good or bad terms I have never ignored her. Ultimately it is his choice but I am a bit worried that if Anthony leaves it too long my family will no longer want to know him. We may not have contact but I would still welcome it if he did decide to contact me again.