Coping

20th November 2011

This morning went well and we both enjoyed getting our wedding vows renewed.  When we got married it was at a registry office so today was extra special.  I’m feeling tired now as it has been a long day.  One of our friends made a lovely cake and we took along food to eat after the service.  It is at times like this that I happy to be alive.

I was 31 years old when I met my husband.  He was the first person in a long time who could make me really laugh.  Ours was a whirlwind romance with us marrying three months after we first started going out with each other.  I still had my emotional barrier up so he only knew a part of me and I told him right from the start I didn’t want children.  I was still scared that if I had children I would be pressured into surrendering again.  My sister told my husband about my son sixth months after we got married.  He was angry because I hadn’t told him so we argued then when we both calmed down we talked.  My husband was angry about what my parents had put me through.  It brought us closer together but he also respected my wishes that we didn’t talk about my son as it was too painful for me.  Years later I regretted that decision even though I thought at the time it was the only way I could cope.

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About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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