19th December 2011
My mood had improved by the weekend but today it nosedived again. At the moment I don’t know what to do as a distraction. Nothing is working. It’s got that bad that I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. Rick wants me to help him go through stuff tomorrow but it means going to a friend’s home and I really don’t want to go there. I am glad we are having a quiet Christmas as I’m not looking forward to it.
Two of the crisis team were round today and were going to get me signed off. Now they are going to give it a few more days as they know I’m on a downer. They asked me if there was anywhere I go to get away for a few days. Even if there was I wouldn’t want to as it won’t solve how I am feeling and I would still have to come back at some point. Right at the moment there is nothing I can think off that will cheer me up.