Mother

10th February2012

The definition of mother is:
1.a. A female person who is pregnant with or gives birth to a child.
b. A female person whose egg unites with a sperm, resulting in the conception of a child.
c. A woman who adopts a child.
d. A woman who raises a child.
2. A female parent of an animal.
3. A female ancestor.
4. A woman who holds a position of authority or responsibility similar to that of a mother
The definition of adoptive /parent is:
Although this term is often used to refer to both parents that are seeking to adopt, and parents that already have adopted, it is probably more commonly used to describe parents that are seeking to adopt, although since many parents will adopt on more than one occasion, they could be both an adoptive parent who has already adopted, and an adoptive parent who is seeking to adopt.
Definition of birth mother is:
Biological mother, genetic mother, natural mother who carries a baby to term, who she plans to give up for adoption.
So why is it that adoptive parents have a low opinion of mothers who have surrendered a child. There are some who believe they can play God with their adopted child’s life just because the natural mother who signed away her rights. It saddens me every time I read about adoptive parents closing an open adoption. Some believe it is okay never to tell their child he or she is adopted or ask other people when the best time to tell their child. An adoptive parent should always tell their child the truth.
I get so tired of adoptive parents who applaud the selfless act of surrendering and claim the mother is being mature. Having been through the experience I feel so infuriated by the attitude. Often the mother just needs moral support, be aware of resources available and be encouraged to parent. Even when mothers are absolutely sure what they want nothing prepares them for the realities of adoption.
Usually the adoptive parents who encourage mothers to surrender a child are the first to then put them down. I am thankful for the adoptive parents who aren’t like that. These are the ones who have taken the time to educate themselves or are affected by adoption in other ways such as being an adoptee or a mother who has surrendered. I am also thankful for the adoptive parents who have got to know me and believe that I was coerced.

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About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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