A few adoption terms

July 3, 2012

Tummy mommy ~ is a worthy of a Cringe Award. It is sickly sweet and cutesy. I first saw the term being used on a forum and it just rubbed me up the wrong way even though it was used in the context of a natural mother. It’s one of those terms that is meant to be endearing but not the best of ways to describe a mother who isn’t raising her child. It’s crept onto Y!A but hopefully not for long.

Birth giver ~ This one is slightly better than birth mother but will never be a winner. If it was used in general terms it wouldn’t bother me at all as all mothers give birth. What makes it offensive is the connotations in regards to adoption and the mother who surrenders a baby. There is nothing nice about it and that the mother is second best or not a good enough mother to raise her own child. It’s a new one on me and is being used now on Y!A

Breeder ~ This is what I feel like when referred to as a birth mother. I have never liked the term, never will. The term breeder rears its ugly head in different places on the internet.

Birth vessel ~ Again this is another new term that’s appeared on Y!A. There is absolutely nothing nice about the term. It is incredible that anybody thinks this is an acceptable term Birth vessel is a very cold term that dehumanizes mothers.

Daddy’s baby gel ~ I saw this term today and found it very creepy. Would be happy never to see it again.

Paper pregnant ~ Whoever invented this term didn’t realize how ridiculous it is. Nobody can be paper pregnant. I understand the origin of the term but it doesn’t take into account mothers who change their minds. Does that mean potential adopters have a paper failure when the adoption doesn’t happen? Definitely food for thought.

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About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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