First anniversary

1st April 2012

It’s the first anniversary of my Mum dying. Last night was tougher than today which surprised me. Maybe having friends sons over the night helped to be a distraction today. They are staying over again tonight as their mother is ill.

I still have mixed emotions as I loved my mother but it is still painful her involvement in my son’s adoption. I will never be able to understand how a mother can be so cruel as to one of her grandchildren being adopted. Mum instilled into my sister and I how important family is and that we should be there for each other. I still can’t understand why she rejected her only grandson twice. The first time because she didn’t want the ‘shame’ of her daughter being a single mother, the second time post reunion. She could never understand why he wanted to know me whereas I could never understand why my mum couldn’t accept him.

I will never have the answers of my questions so I cope the best I can. This afternoon I rang my Dad and I’m glad I did. He sounded quite cheerful and we talked about the family. It’s almost as if my Dad has found a new lease in life.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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