1st April 2012
It’s the first anniversary of my Mum dying. Last night was tougher than today which surprised me. Maybe having friends sons over the night helped to be a distraction today. They are staying over again tonight as their mother is ill.
I still have mixed emotions as I loved my mother but it is still painful her involvement in my son’s adoption. I will never be able to understand how a mother can be so cruel as to one of her grandchildren being adopted. Mum instilled into my sister and I how important family is and that we should be there for each other. I still can’t understand why she rejected her only grandson twice. The first time because she didn’t want the ‘shame’ of her daughter being a single mother, the second time post reunion. She could never understand why he wanted to know me whereas I could never understand why my mum couldn’t accept him.
I will never have the answers of my questions so I cope the best I can. This afternoon I rang my Dad and I’m glad I did. He sounded quite cheerful and we talked about the family. It’s almost as if my Dad has found a new lease in life.