Feeling down

It feels like a vicious circle at the moment.  Some days are better than others but even on my good days something sets me off.  It doesn’t help having a neighbour from hell whose latest tactic is stand at his back when I’m in the back garden.  He stands there glaring at me so I feel uncomfortable then come in.  I only go out in the garden when I absolutely have to now.  He usually watches me when I am clearing up after the dogs.  If I hanging up washing or getting it in I see him go into his garden so I come straight back again.   

Every day I am battling with suicidal thoughts and don’t know how long I can cope with this.  The downward spiral is getting harder to live with.  I don’t have anybody I talk to as Rick knows how I am feeling.  It depresses me even more trying to talk to him.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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