It feels like a vicious circle at the moment. Some days are better than others but even on my good days something sets me off. It doesn’t help having a neighbour from hell whose latest tactic is stand at his back when I’m in the back garden. He stands there glaring at me so I feel uncomfortable then come in. I only go out in the garden when I absolutely have to now. He usually watches me when I am clearing up after the dogs. If I hanging up washing or getting it in I see him go into his garden so I come straight back again.
Every day I am battling with suicidal thoughts and don’t know how long I can cope with this. The downward spiral is getting harder to live with. I don’t have anybody I talk to as Rick knows how I am feeling. It depresses me even more trying to talk to him.