16th July 2013
Have had several bad days and nothing I do is cheering me up. Usually when my mood is low I try to keep busy to take my mood off that. What isn’t helping is knowing people who are going to be grandmothers, are grandmothers now or just become great grandmothers. It’s hard enough dealing with the knowledge that I am not a good enough mother for my son. It hurts even more not being allowed to know my grandson’s name let alone when he was born. If I had done something to deserve this treatment I could accept it. Instead I am being punished for trying to help my son, loving him, giving him a roof over his head when he needed and put up with accusation of imagined wrongs. I am even being punished for proving that I am innocent of the imagined wrongs.