21st August 2010

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”
1 Peter 3:8

The past week has been good, we have had days out and had meals out.  The break from our normal routine has been a blessing as we needed time to relax.  Today has been a quite one for us and I’ve been restless.  When I’m like this I start thinking about things that make me feel a bit sad.  This was inflamed by a question asked on one of the sites I belong to, My Yearbook.  The question and my answer was this:

Q: What do you think of your parents?

A: You really don’t want to know, enough said that I love them because they are my parents but I haven’t always liked their decisions/choices in life which have been selfishly chosen with little regard for how these choices have affected those closest to them.

I do love my parents and I will always be loyal to them but on the other hand I know they’re not perfect.  They’ve made their mistakes over the years.  The biggest one they ever made with me was forcing the issue of Anthony being adopted.  It’s also a subject I know will never be resolved between us.  I knew a long time ago that it’s something that will never be talked about so I live with it.  All I have ever wanted was to be able to tell them exactly how his adoption has affected me but they have carefully dodged the subject for six years now.  I also know I will never get an apology from my parents.  Instead I have had to learn to forgive them and move on.  I still feel a bit envious and sad that other mothers have been able to make peace with their parents but I haven’t been able to.


About Philippa

I am married to Rick and we live in a small town in County Durham. We have two dogs, a cat and two budgies. I am also an adoption survivor. In 1981 my son was born and I was then forced to surrender him. It took 23 years and reunion for my to find out that my son's adoption was legally known as a forced adoption and illegal but social workers got away with it because mothers didn't know their rights.
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