21st August 2010
“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”
1 Peter 3:8
The past week has been good, we have had days out and had meals out. The break from our normal routine has been a blessing as we needed time to relax. Today has been a quite one for us and I’ve been restless. When I’m like this I start thinking about things that make me feel a bit sad. This was inflamed by a question asked on one of the sites I belong to, My Yearbook. The question and my answer was this:
Q: What do you think of your parents?
A: You really don’t want to know, enough said that I love them because they are my parents but I haven’t always liked their decisions/choices in life which have been selfishly chosen with little regard for how these choices have affected those closest to them.
I do love my parents and I will always be loyal to them but on the other hand I know they’re not perfect. They’ve made their mistakes over the years. The biggest one they ever made with me was forcing the issue of Anthony being adopted. It’s also a subject I know will never be resolved between us. I knew a long time ago that it’s something that will never be talked about so I live with it. All I have ever wanted was to be able to tell them exactly how his adoption has affected me but they have carefully dodged the subject for six years now. I also know I will never get an apology from my parents. Instead I have had to learn to forgive them and move on. I still feel a bit envious and sad that other mothers have been able to make peace with their parents but I haven’t been able to.